Hi there!!
I'm back with yet another post. Yayness! :P
I think, I won't post about my daily happenings today. I wanna talk about something that I've always wondered about. Perhaps not many of u know about my family. U only know I'm the only child. Right? Well, to start off, I don't even have a family now. No, not that I was abandoned. It's just that somehow, my father chose to leave me and mom over a lady who's so, urgh! There's just no word to describe her! This all happen back in October last year when my father confessed that he married again. Due to him realising that my mom definitely wouldn't allow, and that both my relative is working at the ROMM and the Divorce area, he secretly made his way to Golok (somewhere between Kelantan & Thailand) to marry. When me and mom got to know this, we can't help questioning our faults. Are we that mean to my father, that he have to leave us in such a way? Till today, I didn't get an answer...
Frankly, I do not have a strong bond with my father since my younger days but that doesn't mean I don't care about him! I still appreciate his figure as a father even though he practically doesn't contribute anything to the family. Not much of allowance, no quality times, basically no nothing. All the while, mom was the sole financial contributor to my family but she didn't complain! In fact, she treats my father to holidays and such. 90% of the household expenses was borne by mom, then. So when my father suddenly disappears and get married again, I couldn't help thinking why he did that? Can't he just appreciate what has been done for him all these while? Can't he see that all the burden my mom carried was suppose to be on his shoulders? True, I can't deny the fact that sometimes me and mom does let him down in a way because we set far too many rules in the house, restrict his daily food intake and many others. But, isn't that a way of showing our concern? Why did he overlook all these? Worst still, he always challenges his enormous Ego with us. Come on, what sort of father only wants to win and can't be a little bothered about his family?
Sometimes I feel like crying buckets when I recall how he have the heart to leave mom over some biatch. What does that old lady wants? To think both of them are already old enough! I still can't believe his enormous Ego replied to all my smses when I tried to ask him to return home and talk things out. Sigh! Over time, his attitude worsens. Me and mom is more than a stranger to him. He still returns to my home despite him already changing the address on his IC to that biatch's place. What intentions does he hide up his sleeves? Feelings of sadness quickly turned into rage in me. I now hold grudges against him. Everytime I see his face, I feel like stabbing him to death. Mom asked for a divorce umpteen times but he still refuses. WHY? My father have a new life now! It's time for me and mom to move on too, isn't it?!
Due to his ignorance over this divorce issue, now mom have to file up a divorce claim. Everything involves money! How cruel can my father be? Too see mom suffer silently while he enjoy himself with a new family. His pension is more than enough to sustain the rest of his life. Whereas for us, mom literally have to work her ass off just to able to support the whole household, me, grandma and herself. I very much pity my mom. How I wish I am the one working and supporting everything! It always breaks my heart when I think how much mom sacrificed for my happiness coz she only have me now. Her only son. I swear I will stick by her for the rest of her life, no matter what happen. This is the least I could do to repay her! Sigh... I really really wonder why humans are only created to change overnight.
My father is a highly respected figure in the society. For more than half his life, he was active in Community Center. He was well known by the malay ministers. Now, everything is gone. Majority of the people who looked up at him, already heard this story and almost instantly lost all their respect! I really can't believe his fate was written this way. Was he that sinful? Mom said it may just be his Karma. Perhaps! Oh wells, sometimes after trying so hard to change our fate and it's to no avail, we just have to learn how to accept them, right? May u have a miserable wonderful remaining years, father. To the people out there who are so concerned over mom and me especially, please do not worry. Me and mom are already in the process of turning over a new leaf. We're coping well. Of course, initially it's bitter to swallow the truth but eventually, we still gotta face the reality. To mom, as I've always mentioned, I'll forever be behind u to support u all the way. U can count on me, Insya'allah (god willing)...
Oh wow, yet another long post! I can go on but I chose to stop. It's starting to get more emotional... Hehe! Hope u guys know more about me, now. Have a nice day, peepz! ;)
Signing off,
Niz
