Heyas!
Gee, what a title right? Frankly, I've always wanted to talk about this issue for a long time coming. It's just that sometime the time is not right or I simply don't have the opportunity to do so. Well basically this seems to be quite a hot issue right now. Ok I think I better off be really frank about what I mean.
I'm sure for those observant ones, u can see that I actually established a good rapport with almost everyone in class right? Well, it's because of this that now, some people start to doubt me. I have always ignored what others think about me because I chose to live life, the Zen way. Eventually though, there's a limit to one's patience. If u know me well, u can see that I rarely blow my top but am I not a normal human being? Obviously when some things crosses the border, I just have to make my stand. I can't just let matters prolong, can I?
See, the issue here is down right, trust. Many start to lose trust in me because they think I am a hypocrite. Funny thing is, people who rarely talks to me, doubts me even more just because they are fooled by their own thinking. What is this? What have I done to receive such treatments? Fine I can't possibly curb ur freedom of speech but can u not think first before blabbering nonsense? There's a very very fine line between suspecting and accusing. Now, I felt accused. I can't deny the fact that I do pass messages around but never once have I intended to start anything. In fact, I am being nice to everyone to show that I can adapt well to people, despite the many differences we have with each other.
I'm sure that many of u are not oblivious about the different groups or cliques in the class. Can anyone associate me with any groups? Maybe one or two but I am never stuck to them. I make it a point to talk to everyone in class each day. Sadly, people's perception on me changes when I do this. Apparently some feel that I bad mouth about them. What, do they feel they are that important for me to talk about? Some others felt that whatever I say shouldn't be trusted wholesale coz I may just side a party. Gee, I didn't know I have so much spare time to even be bothered about all these. Utter nonsense! Funny eh how my existent in the class can be such a threat to some that they pretend to be nice to me just to save their ass. The thought of everything makes me laugh out loud, seriously. Plain weird.
For god's sake, I am always a neutral party in the class. U come talk to me, I listen, I give some views and that's it. Why do I really have to tell others what u told me? Ever thought of that? Maybe u say just for the fun of it or to start a conflict between two innocent souls? Then u're not thinking deep. What will I get out of all that? Millions of dollars? Some form of satisfactions? Gosh, stop it can? Come on lah. We are all grown ups now. Be one! No more childish "I don't want to friend u" sorta thing anymore! If really u dislike someone, diss it. Get rid of him/her for all I care. Stop dwelling on the matter and then make it look like it's someone else's fault.
Questions of acceptance in class also rises lately. Ask urself, if u're not accepted, whose fault is it? Is it really because someone goes around bad mouthing u or is it purely because of u? Think hard again. People tend to talk without thinking when they're mad or furious. Oh come on, don't be in denial. We all had our fair share in life so yeah. What I'm trying to put across here is that, if really in some way u feel u have an issue with me, by all means approach me. We can always talk things out. I'm extremely sick and tired of ignoring something which is there all along. I also don't want my reputation to sink just because of some people who can't accept me as who I am.
I did my best to befriend everyone. Come to think of it, I talk more to those less popular people in class as compared to the others. So yeah, stop bugging me for good. If a bunch of people can accept and even understand me, then I don't think the issue is with ME. Seriously, I have no idea why it's ME in the first place. I can't accept LAME reasons. People, just position ur good self in my shoes. Wouldn't u have reacted in the same manner? Ah, heck care lah with all these rubbish. To think that I have to put up with everything till April 2009. How dreadful! *shrugs*
P/S: I never mention names but if U happen to fit in the story, accept a sincere apology from me. I'm merely speaking my mind. Thankies! :)
Regards,
Niz
