Sigh. I don't even know how to start this post! My emotions are so jumbled up! I'm tired, stressed out, pissed, mad... gosh this will go on and on. Now, how can I not be feeling this way? My patience has been tested to the maximum limit! If you know me well, you may agree that I don't often blow my top but pardon me if for the next few days, I may just do so to anyone. I can no longer take it!
Firstly, I have this huge ass assignment to think about. The Events Management students are assigned a task to revamp the traditional way of celebrating National Day at Community Centres. People's Assocation want some fresh ideas from the ITE students and thus, we have to come up with a good proposal for them. 10 groups will compete with each other to see whose idea is better. 3 chosen groups will get to execute their idea apart from winning some cash prizes.
Well, everything sounds promising and everyone couldn't be more enthusiastic to embark on the project. Sadly, everything turns sour very quickly when we realised how difficult it is to come up with a proper proposal. There just needs to be a selling point. Get this, my group totally diss our initial proposal and within 2-3 days, came out with another (almost totally new) one. In the rush, we did miss out some parts here and there for the dry run presentation last Friday. The most important part, the budget, was missing! Argh!
Anyways, working under pressure is no fun at all. Glitches happens. Unintentionally, group members have some frictions with each other and everything. Ah, just sucks lah! Damn the assigment! Frankly, if it is not for the GPA points we will be getting from this assignment, I will never bother to put my heart and soul into it. I may sound selfish but I try to do so well just to save my own ass at the end of the day. Perhaps, my group mates' too. Haha! I don't know why all of a sudden, I just want everything to be perfect, and as a presenter, present it well then that is it! I'm so done with the proposal shit. Haiz!
Moving along, I am getting more pissed at work too, apparently! I used to like going to work so much. Heck, I do miss my workplace if I never go to work for than a week but now, it feels like a living hell to be there! I just want to run away! Day by day, there are many more system of operations to adhere. We are treated more like labours rather than a professional crew offering service on behalf of the minute island! It drives me insane when the in-charges shout at the top of their voices, trying so hard to get their craps into our brain. Stop it please. Cut the bullshit!
I once mentioned that I wish to have the number of days we're suppose to commit to be cut down to 5, right? Guess what? Decreasing is obviously non-existent in the management's dictionary when it comes to the roster. Everyone must now commit a minimum of 12 days per month. The best part, it's not even from the Human Resource. It's our in-charge's decision. Fair much? GOSH! With the many new SOPs, pressures are higher and everyone is no longer happy during worktime. Even at the debriefing, it feels like a debating ground! This is obviously not a nice scene, right? Do something about it for god's sake! The more I'm stuck there, the more I feel that we are just being exploited...
Why the hell must they care if I'm making enough from working just once or twice per week? Heck, I'm only free on those days! It's not like I do not want to be committed to work. I can & will if I have the time. The main reason why I am working is because I want to have the working experience. Not so much on the money. Well, it's too little to be bragged about anyways. So yeah, again cut the crap please! Without the management knowing, many people including me, already have plans to leave the company sooner or later. We were given this "lifespan" shit sheet where we have to indicate how long more are we going to be with the company and majority responded till August. Is the company going to pack up then? Don't have such a big fat hope that there will be new intakes to replace us. They too, will quit sooner or later, trust me. Argh! I so need to let everything out from my chest, man!
If any of the crew reading this wants to spread around what I just post, by all means do so. I don't give a damn! They need a wake up call, really! The reason why I don't voice out to them is because I HATE talking to people with authority. They shut us up wihout listening when they expect us to voice out our opinions. What the freakin hell? Bloody fools! I am not scared of them really. I just can't be bothered. Nothing I say will make a difference anyways, right?. They care for themselves much more than they care for the crew. Everything's fake and plastic. Sigh. Just wait till I find another perfect part time job. I'll go for sure! Lame ass company! Grrrrrr!
P/S: I desperately need to go on retail theraphy even if I'm low on cash. My head feels like it can burst anytime! STRESS!!!! Argh!
Regards,
Niz
