Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Ups & Downs
 I think we all realise that throughout our lives, we cannot escape from all the ups and downs, no? That's how it goes afterall but, have U felt what it's like to be in both situations in one freaking day? Certainly not the best of feeling, I tell U, coz I went through that today. It sux big time but still, I faced it like a pro even though God knows how much I wanted to just break down. Haha! I don't know why there's just too much negativity around me now but I hope, with my always positive thinking, I could make it through all the obstacles. :)
So yeah, I had my Basic Theory Test today and guess what? I PASSED! Hahahaha! Nothing beats the feeling of doing well because U know U can advance somewhere with a good result. Since I can say that I didn't do quite well for my recent exam, this subtitute just meant the world to me. It's like I achieved something great! Haha. Nah, U don't have to understand how I feel but just be happy for me, ok? Hehehehe...
 I thought, the euphoric moments could last for a long time and make me smile once again after being down for the past days but, happiness doesn't seem to be on my side just as yet. Upon reaching home from CDC, I casually browsed through the net and suddenly thought of checking my email. Guess what I saw? A reply from Republic Polytechnic regarding my appeal. I was super hopeful but after the click, my heart totally sank. Even without explanation, I reckon U people would have known that my appeal was rejected, no? Sigh... I had a sudden rush of emotions in me and I just felt useless at the point of time. I never pictured myself in this situation so it's totally hard for me to accept the fact. Then again, maybe it's just all my fault... :(
Almost instantly, I shut down the lappie and regained composure before letting out the news to mom. She had this utterly disappointed look on her face but said nothing at all. I was expecting a little word of encouragement from her or something but no. Nothing At All! Still, it wasn't as bad if it just ends there. Moments later, she just had to find fault with me and made me feel even more useless. She kept on saying that I should get a job quick and not just stay at home blah2. I was like, can U give me some time? Thanx for pushing me even further down when I'm already at the rock bottom! Her reactions were so unbelievable! I don't know what made her reacted that way but one thing she must know, how much disappointed she is in me, I am more disappointed in myself. So please, give me a break! Sighhh....
 Soon, she cooled down and said that I should think about what steps to take next and whether it's better for me to continue with the driving lessons first before starting work or something. Now, that's more like it! Haha. Still, I don't have an answer for her just as yet. I'm like living day by day now. I don't know when I will be out of this "down period" but I sure will and then, start planning for my future ASAP. Wish me all the best, yeah? Thanxxx! ;)
Regards,
Niz
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